Hi folks! I feel like sharing my predicament with you and hope to get a solution. Please bear with me cuz it’s a long read. I’m a 26 years old banker (not contract staff) in one of the south south states.
Recently, I met a beautiful soul and I think I’m getting so fond of him now. We connected after the close of service in church and exchanged contacts. He was kind enough to drop me off my house. This guy is doing very well for himself (lives in a nice estate and owns a good ride).
A short while after our first meeting, we spoke on phone and I didn’t know when I asked him why he isn’t married. He told me it’s a long story and would like to talk about it when we meet one-to-one. Fast forward, we met and he told me all there is about him. He’s 34, got married about 2 years ago, but now separated from his wife. The reason he gave for the separation was lack of trust from his wife.
According to him, his wife is so insecured to a fault. According to him, the first week he got married was when he started regretting his actions. After their marriage, his wife travelled down home to bring her remaining baggage. Before she returned, he made sure he cleaned the house thoroughly. However, when his wife came back, she headed straight to the fridge (she had made soup and stew before traveling) and the next thing was cry!
According to him, he said he was confused at first. it was when he asked her what the problem was that she said he brought a woman to their matrimonial home. He said he cried so much and regretted marrying a woman with a possessed mind.
According to him, all the signs were there before marriage and he ended the relationship more than 5 times but she kept begging. What she was holding on to was that there’s no assurance that the guy will marry him, hence, her fears. According to him, the woman has accused him of sleeping with his former neighbours and she insisted that they move out of that area. for peace to reign, he agreed and they got another accommodation.
Again, she started accusing him of having something with his new neighbors (even the married ones). To be honest, this guy is admirable and very reserved and I’m not sure if he’s doing all the things his wife accused him of. He got angry when his wife decided to report him to the church authority. According to him, this woman has no single proof of him cheating but her reprobate mind is affecting her badly. She even went ahead to share demeaning messages about him (her husband) on her whatsapp status. This guy said he has pleaded with her to stop but it’s getting worse. Now, they were married for about two years without a child. He said he could manage to live with the woman for more years without a child but can’t do that when his peace is been threatened. He said his wife nags a lot and it was driving him crazy. According to him, his mum was never in support of the marriage but dad was interested in it. As it stands now, he has left his wife and moved to another state where we both met.
I have been friends with him for about 3 months now and I must say that this guy is a sweet human being. He asked me out but I told him we should just be friends, owning that he’s still legally married. However, my feelings for him is growing everyday and this guy knows how to get one emotionally attached to him. Even though I can perceive that he wants sex with me, he never begs or act too anxious over it. He’s so calm and mature and this is making me to admire him the more.
Note: He said he has talked about divorce with his wife but she’s refusing it. This is where my concerns come in. Now, I’m scared of going into a relationship with him knowing that he’s not divorced yet.
To be honest, I can hardly concentrate these days because the thought of this guy has occupied my mind. Can I go ahead with him or the implications would be overwhelming? To be honest, I’ve not met a guy has coolheaded and admirable as this guy but I’m scared. Please I need advice on how to handle this situation.
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