One of the lowest points of any man’s life is when he loses his job and feeling bad he has let his family down. How would he be able to feed the family? Who will now pay the children’s school fees? These are some of the things that a man in such a predicament is likely to be going through.
An OP on a popular Nigerian forum, Nairaland, claimed to be going through such a dilemma. He asked fellow users of the platform for advice.
[Note: The comments are unedited to avoid diluting the emotions with which they were communicated. Some are written in shorthand and others in pidgin]
Hear him; “My wife which we have been married for the past thirteen (13) years and have five(5) children, four boys and girl for me ,just left my house on Sunday to her parent house without informing me.
“She left because we have a little disagreement about monthly food allowance which I used to give her every month but I failed to give her this month when she requested for.
“She left with the girl which is six months old and a boy two years and left three boys for me.
“Please I need your advice, should I go and beg her or I should forget about her and continue with my life. According to my family members, they said I should forget about her because of the manner she left.”
Commenting, a user, chatinent, said; “
First, I don’t support the way she left. Marriage should not be all honey and darling when the going is good.
You guys didn’t have any outstanding issue apart from the money thing? No quarrel …no beating?
If that’s the case, I think you should call her mobile phone.
I think you should try to meet her and discuss issues together.
Crowdfunding for public advice may not be too good sha. Awon redpills are coming to tell you to take in another woman.
Wouldn’t another woman leave too if it is unbearable?
You don’t need to be a redpill. You need to be an alpha gentleman. You need to know your responsibilities as though they were your body parts.
I must say… I hate it when families know husband and wife are having an issue.
We shouldn’t listen to our family sometimes.
Check: they are all concentrating on the woman but none of them is telling you be more responsible. Of course, they’ll support you with words. Will words help you take care of your family?
When I mean trying your best, I mean living up to the expectations of being a man; it is your responsibility to take care of your family! You don’t bear children more than you can take care of.
You may rightly argue differently that you work hard. Sure, you do. But you aren’t working harder enough for the family. You need to man up.
Bring your wife back.
Be the husband you’d want your daughter to have.
Be like the man who was sent to the lions to be eaten but came back leading the pride.
Please don’t forget to buzz me when she is back make I come chop nkwobi biko.
You are welcome.
Another user, Ammishaddai, advised; “Bros, the bible clearly says a man who can’t provide for his home is worst than an infidel(1Timothy 5:8.). Mr man , why are you not providing for your home and wife ? Can you see you’re the one using your own hand to destroy your house …? If your wife leaves you for greener pastures, she’ll be justified because you can’t provide for her and the children . So better go and beg her and start looking for a job !!!“
harqinhola advised: “This is not a begging matter , you need to understand why she left … If u have 5 kids and she’s jobless, my brother she left for her parents house to safe you from shame because she as taken two of your kids to her parents to be fed. How do u expect her to feed 5 kids without the allowance ? I suggest u have a deep heart to heart conversation wth her”.
Richy4 said: “If you were not at home when she left, Traditionally, you have to go and ask her why she left… This is just to fulfill all righteousness.. Do it without wasting time.. if she said she wasn’t coming back, thank them and leave..do not beg her… Don’t make her do what was against her wish…
Take the three kids to your family if U can’t look after them.. look for a job with determination, Try your best to take care of your children.. please also remember the ones she took with her… They are also your kids…
Forget about anything on skirts at the moment and focus on finding a job.. if she wants to come back in future and u will allow it okay, if not, just stay focused in training your kids….“
A female user, Ifyjos, however, said, “My brother if a woman treat you this way it’s mean you maltreated her when you had money”.