Sometime ago, I was driving with three other persons in the car. Of the three persons, two were close friends while one was just an acquaintance.
We had barely driven for five minutes when I discovered that one of my tyres was losing air rapidly. I discovered I could not go on without changing the tyre. I stopped to change the tyre with my spare and then something happened which brought back a lesson I had always known. Two out of the three persons I was carrying informed me they had to leave. Sincerely, I was prepared for that since that was not the first time I would have such an experience. In fairness to them, they had genuine reasons for wanting to leave. I could not stop them from leaving; I would not even try. What was also funny was the fact that my closest friend among the trio was one of the two persons that had to leave.
That incident was for me another poignant reminder that my journey through life is a personal and lonely one. While I will definitely require the help of others as I journey through life, and at times have to travel in company of some people for a while, the stark reality is that the journey is my journey not our journey. If I can constantly remember this, it will help me not to expect too much from people. It will help me to handle disappointments very well. It will help me to take my destiny in my hands and chart my life course. While talking with my boss about the incident, he reminded me of the saying that success has many friends while failure is an orphan. As long as the going is good, there will always be friends and hangers-on around you but you just experience a blip, you will be stunned at how quickly all your well-wishers will disappear, leaving you to weather your storm alone.
I learnt on that day that your closest friend may have very genuine reasons not to stay with you during your difficult moment. Some wives have jumped ship on their husbands in trying periods and some husbands have done likewise. Blessed are those whose spouses stick with them in times of crises. Unless you are blessed with a wonderful spouse, you will journey through life alone. So when trusted friends, loved ones and confidants abandon you when you need them most, remember: It is a personal and lonely journey. But please do not misunderstand what I am driving at. I am not saying you do not need people in your journey of life. You actually cannot achieve anything worthwhile without the help of others. You must have heard it said that no man is an island. I believe that so strongly. I believe in relationships. I believe in connecting with others. But I have come to realise that our paths in life are personalised even though my path will cross some other persons’ and some other persons’ paths will cross mine. So if you find yourself alone at times, it is because the path you are treading is YOURS not others’
Darasimi Oshodi is a blogger. Read his blogs at darasimioshodi.blogspot.com——-Follow him on twitter @Aristotle274.
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