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Victor Terhemba: The Fallacy About Feminism And African Women

In the present world order, the world thrives on hypocrisy and blackmail. We were all humans until …………

These days we are blackmailed with virtually everything, making the victim look like the aggressor. For example, because you are a born again Christian or an Alfa and somebody wrongs you, they don’t expect you to take offence and react because of your faith and when you do, they say you are a “fake” Christian or Muslim.

Of recent women have being using feminism to babooz and cajole the men into conforming to whims and caprices of feminism. Africa feminist look up to the western feminist activists for courage and direction forgetting that in Africa we’ve had 7 leaders who are/were women. One of the highest you can find anywhere else. Hypocrisy. Some ladies these days don’t feel the necessity to always cook for their husbands they expect the men to also cook. I know a young unmarried girl who said she and her husband will take turns at cooking or else she is not getting into the relationship. I meant to ask her if she meant she’s ready to get married at 70. They will preach feminism with so much vigour and tell us how ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better” yet I haven’t seen a lady who is ready to pay my groom price.Suggest to a lady if she will support her husband to sponsor their wedding and see how flatly she will tell you it’s the duty of the man. Ehen but I thought you want gender equality.

It is utterly appalling to note that women, now, would abdicate their natural duties and roles, and rather take up new roles they have designed for themselves.From the Christian perspective, when God created the woman, the woman was created as a helper to the man (Gen. 2:20-23) not as a slave as some women erroneously believe their God given duties is to slave for the man. The bible further implores the woman to be submissive to their husbands ….. (Not as slaves).

I find it quite worrying that women do not appreciate the very important roles they have to play in the lives of men. For illustration purpose, lets look at a house and consider the man to be the house itself and he woman as the pillars. Though the woman isn’t the house but the house cannot stand without the pillar; that’s how important women are .We watch a movie and applaud the superfluous performance of the actors and forget to acknowledge the rest of the crew who made the movie appear the way it is. We simply cant do without women, they are that important.

Behind every successful man is a strong woman, So the saying goes and its not a saying replete with illusiveand grandiose facts. But if the women now want gender equality and stand on their own,then the men would be like a house built on sand and without pillars, and the women like pillars without a housethen what is the use of the pillars. The talents of the pillars would, just be wasting like the servant in the parable of Jesus who buried his own tent instead of being a pillar standing alone why not remain a pillar who supports the house. Its illogical to imagine a pillar on a house.

The man has a duty to go out and search the land for food to feed his family, take care of their immediate needs, this was a task specifically assigned to Adam on behalf of men (Gen 3:17-19). In the sane society, we consider a man senile and useless if he leaves the responsibility of taking care of the home needs to his wife. The society frowns very much at this because this is not the order of things. If this is so then why do you feel it is right for a woman to neglect the immediate welfare of her home and concentrate her energy in doing what a should be doing? Marriage is a team so couples gotta live as a team. In a team everybody has his role to play.

I am not of the opinion that women belong to the kitchen or shouldn’t be allowed to work but live as full time housewives. No. That’s not what I mean, I believe a woman should also work so as to support the husband in hard times. It’s embarrassing that as a wife you have to ask your husband for every penny you want to spend. I just don’t feel wives should pick up career working jobs, such as doctors, sailors, pilots, etc. Those kind of jobs that are time and energy demanding. Then you leave your home at the mercy of domestic servants whose idea of a proper home might not correlate with yours. How about a self employed job or an 8 hour job, so you have time to still come back and look after your children and cook for them. I won’t advice any man to allow his wife be a full time housewife unless he’s stupendously rich and he can afford it or he has guaranteed source of income for a last time. Women as wives should work but not work as if it’s her duty to carter for the house.

On a last note, please ladies we love you guys very much, continue to be our mothers, friends, wives, sisters, girlfriends, don’t turn things up-side-down and become our husbands and fathers instead. I love you guys with everything inside of me. For any reservations reach me via my email or twitter handle. And for contributions just comment below.

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Victor Terhemba Is a talent manager, political analyst and social commentator from Lagos.

Follow me on Twitter: @inkrediblesmog

[email protected]

 

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